Serendipity

by Justin La Grange

I've learned that life is extraordinary. Really, that's kind of "duh", but it's amazing how little -- at least, I -- stop to think about it.

At lunch my dad and I discussed the incredible and nearly impossible serendipitous path through an incredibly random series of events that led to my creation. And how for some people more than others, their life would have been incredibly different had one domino in the great adventure that is life fallen a different way, and how much of an impact other people have in shaping one's life that's completely out of that person's control.

Too many events that led to my parents meeting or even having a child were completely based on other people's arbitrary decisions or serendipitous communications with strangers. If one of a series of random events had gone the other way in an eenie-meenie-miney-moe teeter tot superfluous decision, life would have never happened for me.

But here's an incredible story of how the stars aligned:

At the ripe age of 24, my mom worked for New York Airways, what I suppose to be a little company that shuttled people around in helicopters from JFK to Manhattan, around Manhattan, and the like. On one serendipitous trip she happened to be working, she ran into an executive from Pan Am who apparently was impressed with her and recommended she interview for Pan Am at his invitation. Under no other circumstances would she likely have ended up at Pan Am.

About the same time my dad worked for North American Rockwell Aviation in Downey, CA and met a crazy, outgoing almost "sociopathic" guy named Richard who was a mathematical consultant on one of his projects. So, serendipitously, they went to lunch over a few projects and ended up becoming friends. As you will learn later with my mom, my dad loves to associate with "interesting" people.

Quite a few years later, Richard was trolling around in New York for whatever reason. While he was there he saw an advertisement from Pan Am in the paper for volunteer passengers for what was described as either "an evacuation test" or "a safety video". Thinking that this was a creative way to add to his conglomeration of chicks, he thought if he had time he might just sign up for the hell of it -- for me, it was the most important thing anybody will have ever done.

While on the aircraft, a saucy flight attendant came to his attention. From his aisle seat he tugged on her skirt, to which the saucy flight attendant told him loudly "I don't like that!" and lightly slapped his hand away. Richard, being a grand sociopath, was undeterred by this and grabbed her skirt the next time around and refused to let go until my mom dispensed of her number. At that point, my mom could've yelled or become violent -- two things she has a high propensity for. Instead, she caved and dispensed of her number. They began dating, happily, in New York until...

My dad arrived in New York to hang out with Richard in the early 70's at his invitation. They were scheduled to go out for a night on the town with my mom (who my dad had never met), and Richard suggested my dad escort my Aunt Aly "Pay". Needless to say, for anyone who knows these two characters, my dad and Aunt Pay's date went horribly (and there relationship is still contentious to this day), but my dad was pleased with my mom. As they became friends, my dad told my mom that she was one of many in Richard's female entourage. My mom, who doesn't play second fiddle to anyone, dumped him like a hot potato, and Richard dumped my dad's friendship (likely he was also displeased that when applicable, my Aunt Pay would insist upon sleeping between he and my mom to assure they didn't have relations, and slap whomever decided to reach over for hanky panky).

My parents began dating throughout the early to mid 1970's, and married in 1978 -- during that time my dad created a missile testing company called Xeta Corp with offices in Washington DC and Camarillo, and my mom was still glamoring it up at Pan Am, spending all of her cash on Salvatore Ferragamo shoes and Gucci handbags. They had about 3 miscarriages from that time to the early 80's, and finally gave up on having their own kids, resigning themselves to being a couple who spent their large disposable income on traveling, property, and frivolous Gucci shoes/handbags.

On a particularly usual day in November 1984, my parents decided to go to Bangkok for a vacation. Thanks to one extra person -- my apparent guardian angel -- that decided to buy a ticket from Tokyo to Bangkok, there was only one seat leftover on their Tokyo-Bangkok sector and they were left stranded till the next day's flight in Narita. Since my dad had never been to Tokyo-proper, he demanded to go into the city but my mom was tired and refused -- serendipity. And apparently my dad's energy had not subsided in Narita, so they ended up, uh, shacking up (which apparently they didn't do often). Gross, but serendipitous.

Anyway, at 43, my mom ended up getting pregnant with me. It was both a blessing and a curse; at that age after having three miscarriages, my parents thought it was likely I was either going to be another miscarriage or end up retarded (which apparently was going to have the same result of a miscarriage because they would have aborted me), and they would end up devastated again.

But as fate would have it, I made it out on a beautiful August day in 1985: not miscarried, and depending upon whom you ask, not retarded. And as serendipity would have it, I made it out with blue eyes to the shock of my parents who figured that was probably a one in a thousand chance with my mom's dominant brown genes. They figured they would change to brown at some point in my childhood, which they never did. Also, I was born with a couple other rare non-anatomical irregularities, which I won't discuss on a public forum, but are truly serendipitous.

So to recap: if my Dad and Richard had never been partnered on a random work assignment in Downey, if my mom had taken one different trip on her New York Air schedule, if Richard had never opened up one certain newspaper, if Richard had been just a bit less of a persistent sociopath on that day, if my mom had been in a worse mood on that day or not herself participated in the safety exercise, if Richard had never invited my dad to hang out in New York, if Richard had never been such a philanderer -- my parents would've never met and I would have never been born.

From that point, if my parents didn't perfectly execute a series of events throughout the 1970's and 1980's that led them to being bumped off a Narita-Bangkok flight because one extra person that day had to buy a seat, I would have never been born.

But God, luck, serendipity -- whoever or whatever was in control of this particular sequence -- let the dominoes fall in a perfect sequence.

But such luck doesn't come cheap. Both my parents raising me and my growing up was a difficult and challenging experience -- that sadly hasn't really ended -- but in all our dysfunction there's something unique and special -- you might call it serendipitous -- and I'd never trade it in for anything.

What seemingly superfluous step did you take today that will drastically alter your life or the life of those around you?

It's Time To End "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

by Justin La Grange

Don't Ask, Don't Tell, an antiquated policy which prohibits gays and lesbians from serving openly in the military, has long lived past its shelf life in the 21st century and should be repealed. In an ironic turn of events, the very people I generally don't support in Congress are on the correct side of this issue. And indeed, certain elements that I'm more likely to support are seeking to block its repeal, insisting it would somehow disrupt the proper functioning of the military. The question before us is: Does a non-existent to small loss of military cohesion compensate for the egregious violation of civil liberties that shutting down free speech rights presents?

In an appearance on FNC's Sunday Morning Show, General Mike Mullen claimed to support the legislation, but then in wishy-washy fashion claimed the repeal needed a gigantic review in order to move forward, whatever that means:

"Ideally, I would like the legislation to wait until we've completed the review so we can look at how to implement it."

What is there to figure out how to impliment General? Are you going to institute "coming out" guides for military personnel compliments of the US Government? Are you going to create a new bureaucratic entity to ensure that the housing units of same-sex families have multicolored drapes? It's only now that the Republicans decide that a prolonged government taxpayer wasting sideshow is appropriate.

To repeal the prohibition of free speech takes no complex legislation or government largesse. It simply requires that every soldier be treated like any other under US law.

When this legislation was enacted under Democratic President and Resident Sex Offender Bill Clinton, it was thought that elements in the military were apparently too stupid, low class, and redneck to deal with another soldier's different sexuality. And wouldn't logic tell you that it's not like any homo soldier that was one to go into the military would be a Betty cross-dresser anyway?

In other words, Don't Ask, Don't Tell makes the military look barbaric and intolerant. The legislation degrades and insults our armed servicemen by making them sound like drunken boobs who would be inclined to assault "homos" for no good reason in an intolerant and misplaced rage.

Obviously, there are a few homophobic and vehemently anti-gay elements in the military that are going to create some problems. And yes, we are fighting two wars where full attention to duty is of the utmost importance, and the last thing we need is any disruption of military cohesion and "readiness".

The cost of keeping DADT, however, is far greater. What is the point of fighting for our freedoms and the freedoms of others around the world when they are not free in our own peacekeeping force? We fight to keep women out of the shadows in Islamic countries and yet we stick our own servicemen into the shadows in an ugly reverse parallel.

I know a lot of you have differences with the acceptability of homosexuality, and that is completely your right in the exchange of ideas in a public marketplace. However, DADT is about far more than just sexual preference -- it is about the outrageousness of the government legislating morals and prohibiting certain speech. Can you imagine the outrage if the government decided to prohibit the open worship of the Muslim faith in the military for the sake of unit cohesion? I can see it now, Don't Ask, Don't Allah. It is an extremely dangerous precedent for the government to silence speech and ideas in the public sphere.

Three quarters of the American population support the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. In nothing short of a gigantic irony, the extremely badass Israeli Defense Forces allow gays to serve openly. But this is not only about what is right, here, for this particular group. The New World and America was built upon the free practice and exchange of ideas, values, and goods -- and it is now, at this time, we are still fighting for those values. In America, those values must win.