Really Hilarious McCain Quotes = I Heart John McCain

"Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father." --at a 1998 Republican fundraiser

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"Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people. Hollywood is a Washington for the simpleminded."

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"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who is still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."

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"I said, 'The nice thing about Alzheimer's is you get to hide your own Easter eggs.'"

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"At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt." -to his wife, Cindy, after she playfully twirled his hair and said "You're getting a little thin up there,"
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"You know the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a scum-sucking bottom-dweller. The other is a fish."

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"My Social Security number is 8." --joking with Jay Leno
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"You know, by a strange coincidence I was not elected Miss Congeniality in the United States Senate this year." --after being asked by Rev. Rick Warren about going against his party

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"The good news is that we now have enough money to run the entire campaign in Colorado. The bad news is, some of that money is still in your wallets and purses." --speaking at a fundraiser in Aspen, Colorado

"Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room." --to Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), during a testy exchange about immigration legislation

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"I had something picked out for you, too - a little IED (improvised explosive device) to put on your desk." --to Jon Stewart
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"In case you missed it, a few days ago Senator Clinton tried to spend $1 million on the Woodstock Concert Museum. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I wasn't there. I'm sure it was a cultural and pharmaceutical event. I was tied up at the time." --on the years he spent as a P.O.W. in Vietnam

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"Thanks for the question, you little jerk." -- John McCain, after being asked by a high school student if he was too old to be president. For good measure, McCain then threatened to draft him.
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"Remember the words of Chairman Mao: 'It's always darkest before it's totally black.'"

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"Presidential ambition is a disease that can only be cured by embalming fluid."

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"I'm older than dirt, I've got more scars than Frankenstein, but I've learned a few things along the way."
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"Never get into a wrestling match with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it." --to reporters in New Hampshire after being asked him about Mitt Romney

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"We spent $3 million to study the DNA of bears in Montana. I don't know if that was a paternity issue or a criminal issue." --on wasteful congressional spending
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"I spent several years in a North Vietnamese prison camp, in the dark, fed with scraps. Do you think I want to do that all over again as vice president of the United States?"
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"We have a lot of work to do. It's a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border." --referring to a border that does not exist, ABC News interview, July 21, 2008

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"I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself. I don't expect to be a great communicator, I don't expect to set up my own blog, but I am becoming computer literate to the point where I can get the information that I need." --New York Times interview, July 13, 2008

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"Maybe that's a way of killing them." --responding to a report that $158 million in cigarettes have been shipped to Iran during Bush's presidency despite restrictions on U.S. exports to that country, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, July 8, 2008
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"I will veto every single beer, um, bill with earmarks." --speaking at the National Small Business Summit, Washington, D.C., June 10, 2008 (Watch video clip)

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"Well, basically, it's a Google." --on how he's conducting his VP search, Richmond, Virginia, June 9, 2008
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"We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies." --Kenner, Louisiana, June 3, 2008

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"You know that old Beach Boys song, Bomb Iran? Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran." --breaking into song after being asked at a VFW meeting about whether it was time to send a message to Iran, Murrells Inlet, South Carolina, April 18, 2007 (Watch video clip)
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"I will conduct a respectful debate. Now, it will be dispirited -- it will be spirited -- because there are stark differences. I am a proud conservative, liberal Republica-- conservative Republican...Hello? Easy there."

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"I am a illiterate that has to rely on my wife for all of the assistance I can get." -after being asked whether us uses a Mac or a PC.
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"It's not social issues I care about."

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"No, I'm calling you a fucking jerk." --to fellow Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley, when Grassley asked "Are you calling me stupid?"
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"Only an asshole would put together a budget like this ... I wouldn't call you an asshole unless you really were an asshole." --to Budget Committee Chairman and fellow Repulican Sen. Pete Domenici, during a Senate budget hearing

SOURCE: http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/johnmccain/a/mccain-quotes.htm

Complied by Daniel Kurtzman

Interesting Electoral College Scenarios

Here is today's electoral college map, making the assumption that all swing states go to the person currently leading, no matter the margin. According to this, Barack Obama wins the election 273-265. In order for this to happen, McCain will win Ohio, Virginia, Florida, and Nevada - he doesn't have comfortable margins in either Nevada, Virginia, or Ohio. However, this assumes Obama will retain his very uncomfortable leads in Pennsylvania, New Hampshire, Colorado, and Minnesota (all under 3%). Keep in mind that McCain is likely to keep Florida, Ohio, Virginia, and Nevada, meaning he needs to turn over only one other swing state to win (with the exception of New Hampshire). Pennsylvania, Colorado, or another dark horse state could easily go McCain's way.


According to recently released data, Obama could lose roughly 6 percentage points on election day because he is black. In other words, when the pollsters call folks, they feel comfortable being "progressive" because it is not their real vote. However, when they actually get in the voting booth and have to make that critical decision, they will vote for the safe candidate, which is John McCain. Anyway, assuming Obama loses 6 percentage point in each state, above is the resulting electoral victory for McCain - an absolute sweep (this is also assuming McCain gains no points and being very generous towards Obama - just dropping Obama's percentage 6% and keeping McCain's the same, even though that's not really realistic). It's fascinating that Washington currently has Obama leading McCain 49-45, which is an extremely small margin for a state like Washington. Consider New Mexico, a reasonably red state, having Obama leading 50-44. It is unfathomable that Washington is a narrower swing state. Also consider solidly Blue Minnesota, the only state to have not voted for Ronald Reagan, having a 47-45 lead for Obama - that's only 2%, also unfathomable. The point is that if polling behavior is really slightly different from voting behavior, it's going to be a very tough race for Obama.


What if everything is near the current status quo come election day, except McCain wins New Hampshire, in which he is only trailing by a little over a percentage point? That would give both candidates 269 electoral votes. In that case, the House would cast their vote for Obama (for President, the constitutional responsibility of the House), and the Senate would cast a tie for the VP vote since Lieberman (no longer a Democrat), would cast his vote for Sarah Palin. This 50-50 tie would then go to Vice President Cheney, who would most certainly vote for Sarah Palin. Boy, the Democrats were stupid for crossing Joe Lieberman. He's already spoken at the RNC, and now he might swing a VP election to Sarah Palin, with president Barack Hussein Obama! It's called karma Democrats - karma for swinging so far to the left that you oust absolutely respectable, honorable, and moderate Joe Lieberman. Horrible!

What The Fa MotherFa? Why Be A Republican With These Positions?

Recently I was verbally assaulted by a fellow Facebooker for some of my posted items and notes being "propaganda" and furthermore called a "chickenhawk". It's true that I have made no secret of my preference for John McCain in this election, but that still does not qualify this guy calling me a "chickenhawk". Instead of being a pussy and whining about it, I got us into an extensive message battle in which I explained why I should not be called a chickenhawk, and I stated some positions that are regarded as centrist to liberal. He then retorted, "Why on earth are you voting for John McCain?" I realized at that point that I had been asked that a lot, so I'm going to clarify exactly what I believe and how that likely correlates into a center-right preference. In summary, I'm pretty libertarian, i.e. conservative on economic/military issues and liberal on social issues. So why vote for the GOP? Because first and foremost I view economic issues and the limited role of government as king, and social issues are just philosophical formations to which I subscribe but have no use for. If you ask me whether I'm more likely to be overtaxed or have a gay marriage, I'd say hopefully overtaxed (yes Carlos, I can anticipate your retort already). If David Beckham offered me a gay marriage and half of his estate, you would see me swiftly move to the Democratic Party. And a year later, you would see me get a swift gay divorce and be swimming amongst Ferraris and Heidi Fleiss's whores.

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Here are some excerpts from my message regarding my political philosophy:

"Needless to say, I'm a tad bit disappointed. I take great enjoyment in my political writing, satire, and being provocative and inflammatory. Most of my FB friends (whom I know nearly all in person) know that."

"I'm sorry you disagree with my viewpoints. Most of my friends do, yet I have fun in a political back and forth jabbing and also enjoy substantive dialogue on the issues. We "jab back and forth" all the time (yes, via Facebook), reminding each other of our other candidates' triumphs and falldowns. It's a sport and a game - not that politics is a sport - it's a real sad affair actually - but one that is so sad that it needs to be livened up and "sportinized" in order to survive it. If I had conservative friends (Berkeley - hello?), my notes would be no fun and unprovocative."

"When other people incessantly post stuff about McCain being old, Bush being a retard, and Obama soaring in the polls, I take a friendly jab and then respect them for their viewpoints, because apparently with the exception of me everyone else is entitled to them."

"Despite my hope for a quick withdrawal, preference for gay marriage/LGBT rights, pro-choice position, hope for more public transportation infrastructure, progressive support for a female VP, alternative energy/environmental protection, stem cell research, moderate gun control position, support of vouchers to allow the less unfortunate and minorities to get a better education..."

"...but don't let any of that get in the way of calling me a chickenhawk."

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I then clarified my positions (excerpt):

Because first and foremost I value economic freedom and freedom from a large oppressive government that overtaxes its citizens and then wastes their money with no accountability. No matter how rich or poor anyone is, they should not be unfairly taxed. I passionately believe in that. While that won't change much with McCain, and the Republicans have been terribly tax & spend as well, I cannot accept the Democratic party (especially Obama's) rhetoric and action on the issue.

I believe in every citizen earning their way in a market economy, and believe that redistribution harms people on the lower economic rungs by creating dependency and never giving incentive for people of lower economic status to move out of that class. I believe in Clinton's (wildly unpopular with Democrats) Welfare Reform Act.

You of course are familiar with how unions have brought down the airline industry (and other industry). Unions have outgrown their use, and whichever party has them in their back pocket is the party I cannot accept.

School choice - I sincerely want our schools improved - especially for the lowest tiers of society - and guess which party is in bed with public school teachers' unions, hijacking everybody's right to a good education. [If you allot $8000 dollars to each student/parent instead of investing the money solely in the school to which their child would normally subscribe, the student/parent can choose whether the school he goes to is good enough - if it's not, private institutions will be clamoring to take that $8000 to give a superior education. Then in order to survive, the public school will up their game if they have to compete against private institutions for the student].
I love immigrants and immigration, but we can't continue to be a country that can't properly account for who is in it [and the resulting balance of resources]. Whichever party at least has more rhetoric towards closing the borders is my party. McCain had a reasonable proposal on this about a year or so back.

Iraq is a mess/stupid idea, but there's no denying that the surge, which McCain supported and Barack didn't, was the right thing to do in stabilizing Iraq and will allow us to pull out AND have a relative amount of success in securing the country.

McCain = better than Bush on environment [went across party lines and co-sponsored bills promoting the environment and fighting global warming]

McCain = female VP, open to pro-choice VP

Whichever party/candidate is the best on those issues is first and foremost the one I will lean towards. I'm not rich - I just believe in smaller government - the power of the individual [and freedom from government oppression].

It's also a function of where I grew up and how I developed my thinking, but I'm sincere and passionate about a conservative libertarian ideology - I'm not evil, I'm not a religious fanatic, I don't hate gays...I just have ideas about the fundamental nature of government.

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Some More Issues Discussion (Liberal Positions):

I am pro-choice. However, I have a strong pro-life ethos and I loathe how too many left-leaning people are too quick to dismiss excellent arguments from pro-life groups. I did write a blogpost about the abortion issue, in which I fundamentally concluded that ending the right to an abortion would first and foremost be dangerous to women who really want/need an abortion and take illegitimate back door procedures to get one and the logistical nightmare of the government/taxpayer supporting 40 million unwanted babies that would have been born since the 1970's and more than likely be a drain on society financially and in terms of resources (prison, welfare, etc). I do however dismiss the notion that an abortion is something that women should be willy-nilly entitled to and I condemn the amount of abortions that have occurred in which lots women have no one to blame but themselves and should be deserving of no sympathy for murdering their child.

I believe in background checks for guns. Not every idiot, especially one with a hint of a criminal record, should be allowed to purchase a gun. However, law-abiding Americans have the right to own a gun for protection or whatever they see fit. As an American, you should be able to own or operate whatever you want, but when you infringe on the life or property of another American, you should be punished to the full extent of the law.

I believe in states rights to decide gay marriage, at minimum. It's been a long road to this conclusion, and I've come to believe that gays in a legitimate relationship should not be barred from having the same legal and ceremonial rights that straight Americans have come to enjoy. When you bring marriage into the "state", marriage is no longer the property of religious groups - it is the property of all people and therefore no citizen should be denied access to it. However I am not a fan of a large sector of gay separatism, and that is gays being hostile to Americans who happen to have more traditional values just for the sake of history and tit-for-tat. If gays want gay marriage to be an accepted concept in America, they need to separate themselves (no pun intended) from a separatist culture that usually includes severe indoctrination in leftist ideology. Be the better man (or queen), and accept their right to their opinion just as you should be allowed to have yours.

Travel Stats Review: End of an Era

Effective 12:00AM Eastern Standard Time on August 21, 2008, my 23 year tenure as a non-revenue (free flight) dependent had come to a close. It's extremely sad to me that I can no longer have the world at my fingertips with the click of a button, and I feel really small and confined in California against the backdrop of a world that has become quite huge again.

The good news is that I've gone to so many places, seen so many great things, and met so many cool people along the way. I've been asked if by a few people if I'd ever documented my travels or compiled any stats. As a tribute to my illustrious "career", I thought I'd put those stats into a note, both for my own self interest and those who might care. Also, a few interesting "what Delta was a few years ago" flights.

As a background, my mom worked for Pan Am from 1966 to 1991, and Delta from 1991 to Present. Children of airline employees at all levels are entitled to travel benefits, and in Delta's case, absolutely free domestic & international travel in the most premium cabin available. This standby travel, or getting space in the highest cabin or even on the plane, is ordered by active/retiree/affiliate and seniority.

Anyway, here we go:

I've been to:

• 29 countries (thanks Vatican City!)

• All six inhabited continents

• 27 US States

I've Cleared US Customs through 7 gateways in order of frequency:

• Atlanta (Asia, Europe, Middle East, South America)

• New York (Europe)

• Los Angeles (Asia, Central America, Europe)

• Miami (Central America, South America)

• Cincinnati (Europe)

• Honolulu (Australia)

• Salt Lake City (Mexico)

International Connections:

• Cleared a connecting flight from Cairo in CDG (Paris), a connecting flight to Athens in FCO (Rome), a connecting flight from Dublin to New York in SNN (Shannon), and connecting flights to/from Singapore in NRT (Tokyo).

US Noteworthy/Major Cities I've Been To:

• Anchorage, Atlanta, Baltimore, Boston, Charleston, Cincinnati, Columbia, Dallas, Denver, Des Moines, Fort Lauderdale, Hartford, Honolulu, Ithaca, Kahului, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Miami, Minneapolis, New Orleans, New York, Newark, Orlando, Philadelphia, Phoenix, Portland, Sacramento, San Diego, San Francisco, Savannah, Seattle, Salt Lake City, Tallahassee, Trenton, Washington DC

Major/Noteworthy International Cities I've Been To (Non-Connecting):

• Amman, Amsterdam, Aqaba, Aruba, Athens, Barcelona, Berlin, Brussels, Buenos Aires, Cairo, Colonia, Cordoba, Dubai, Dublin, Eliat, Guatemala City, Heidelberg, Hong Kong, Istanbul, Jerusalem, London [January 2009], Madrid, Mazatlan, Melbourne, Milan, Montevideo, Nice, Paris, Petra, Rome, Rosario, San Salvador, Santiago de Chile, Sevilla, Singapore, Stuttgart, Sydney, Tangier, Tel Aviv, Tokyo, Vatican City, Venice, Victoria, Vienna

Favorite Cities

• Amsterdam, Barcelona, Boston, Buenos Aires, Charleston, Dubai, Honolulu, Madrid, Melbourne, New York, Paris, Seattle, Sevilla, Singapore, Sydney, Tokyo, Venice

Countries I've Been to More Than Once:

• Argentina, El Salvador, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Spain

Airlines I've Flown (In Order of Frequency):

• Delta

• Pan Am
• SkyWest, ExpressJet, Comair, ASA\

• Southwest

• American

• United

• Qantas

• Northwest

• Air France

• Alitalia

Top City Pairs (Possibly Via Connecting Gateways):

• Los Angeles-San Francisco

• Los Angeles-Salt Lake City (to get other places)

• Los Angeles-Atlanta

• Los Angeles-New York

• Los Angeles-Honolulu

• San Francisco-Honolulu

• San Francisco-New York

• Los Angeles-Orlando

• Los Angeles-Seattle

• Los Angeles-Oakland

My More Interesting Flights Mostly Outside of Atlanta/New York:

• Los Angeles-Melbourne (QF)

• Los Angeles-Hong Kong (Delta)

• Los Angeles-Guatemala City (Pan Am)

• Melbourne-Sydney (QF)

• Sydney-Honolulu (QF)

• Miami-San Salvador (Pan Am)

• Miami-Buenos Aires (Pan Am)

• Paris-Los Angeles (American)

• Cairo-Paris (Air France)

• Rome-Athens (Alitalia)

• Tokyo-Singapore (Northwest)

• Salt Lake City-Mazatlan (Delta)

• Honolulu-Salt Lake City (Delta)

• Kahului-Atlanta (Delta)

• New York-Nice (Pan Am)

• New York-Istanbul (Pan Am)

• Los Angeles-San Francisco (United 747)

First Flight:

• Los Angeles-New York (Pan Am 747)

Longest International Flight (Tied):

• Dubai-Atlanta (15h:15m)

• Los Angeles-Melbourne (15h:15m)

Longest Domestic Flight:

• Atlanta-Kahului (9h)

International Flights in Coach:

• Aruba-Atlanta

• Tokyo-Atlanta (1 of 2)

• Rome-Athens

• Los Angeles-Melbourne

• Melbourne-Sydney

• Sydney-Honolulu

International Flights in a Premium Class:

• everything not listed above

Domestic Flights I've Flown In a BusinessElite Cabin (long since discontinued):

• New York-Los Angeles (763)

• New York-Salt Lake City (763)

• New York-Cincinnati (763)

• New York-Atlanta (763, 777)

• Atlanta-Los Angeles (763, 777)

• Atlanta-Orlando (777)

• Atlanta-Denver (763)

• Atlanta-Kahului (763)

• Cincinnati-Los Angeles (763)

• Orlando-Los Angeles (M11)

Flights With Startling Capacity Levels (long since discontinued):

• Salt Lake City-Los Angeles (763D)

• Salt Lake City-New York (763D redeye)

• Cincinnati-San Francisco (763D)

• Orlando-Los Angeles (763D, L1011, M11)

Other Tidbits:

• never had a bonafide in-flight emergency

• longest layover in an airport: 17 hours (ATL, 6A to 11P)

• longest continuous sleep: Atlanta-Dubai, 10.5 hours

• longest time overseas: 3 weeks

• shortest time overseas: 19 hours

• farthest point from Los Angeles: Singapore

• states not mentioned in cities: New Mexico, Kentucky, North Carolina

• Planes I've Been on: MD88, MD90, MD11, 727, 732, 733, 738, 747SP, 744, 757, 762, 763, 764, 777, DC10, L1011, A310, A320, A330, CRJ, CR7, CR9, ERJ

And yes, I'm a nerd :)

Dear Democrats: What May I Ask Is Wrong With You?

As Republicans, we weren't initially really worried about this election. We understood that like the economy, politics is a very cyclical thing. We understood that we were primed to lose this election, and Dear Democrats, it was yours to walk away with. May I asked how you fucked up so badly that Grandpa McCain and a sexy librarian from Alaska have a more than 50/50 chance of winning this election?

You had the chance to nominate the glorious Hillary Rodham Clinton, whom I lovingly refer to as H. Clinton. H. Clinton had the backing of the most powerful political force in America: herself and Bill "presidential kneepads" Clinton. This political team had the political experience and wherewithal that the American people trust. Moderate H. Clinton had the backing of working class white men and women all over America - a group that might very well sink this election for Barack in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Florida, etc. Most importantly though, H. Clinton had the "American" wherewithal to win in this election, in that she is not a European-esque far-left secular progressive loon that has been endorsed by moveon.org - this white working class voting bloc of which I speak loathes those kind of people, and the secular-progressive leftist media has not fully done its job in revealing Barack Obama's ties to these groups.

To highlight this, I present Lynn Forester de Rothschild, a Democrat socialite who was strongly supporting H. Clinton. Today, Ms. Rothschild has just come out in full support of John McCain. Some of the reasons Mrs. Rothschild cited were the following:

"I believe that Barack Obama, with MoveOn.org and Nancy Pelosi and Howard Dean, has taken the Democratic Party — and they will continue to — too far to the left. I'm not comfortable there."

"I believe that the McCain-Palin government will be a centrist government," Rothschild said. "It's not going to be an ideological government."

Links:

• http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080917/ap_on_el_pr/mccain_clinton_backer
• http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/09/16/prominent-clinton-backer-and-dnc-member-to-endorse-mccain/

Also, Hillary Clinton supporter Donald Trump has endorsed John McCain on Larry King Live. Donald Trump is no doubt one of the most savviest business people in America, and with his being a relatively moderate pragmatist, his endorsement carriers a lot of weight.

Link:• http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13558.html

Mrs. Rothschild and Mr. Trump are doing exactly what moderate, sane Democrats all over America should be doing - standing up to your party's horrible decisions made by the media and the far-left elite! If you do not vote for Barack Obama, and voice your displeasure en masse, you send a direct message to these elements that have hijacked the Democratic party that they cannot do this to you - that they cannot hijack your party! The Democratic Party under JFK and Clinton stood for something: it stood for the people, not Barbra Streisand and moveon.org. You are crucial to the survival of this party, and if they don't have you on board, they lose everything! By abstaining to vote or voting for McCain, who is most bipartisan and best for the country, you create a loss and force the Democratic party to adapt to your needs next time. You hold the power! H. Clinton 2012.

McCain is Most Bipartisan link:http://washingtontimes.com/news/2008/sep/15/records-show-mccain-more-bipartisan/