Berkeley Facebook Group Exposure: "Dirty Hippies"

Nov 25 2006

God knows how I came upon this, but I found a group, appropriately Berkeley, called "Dirty Hippies".

As you will find no one on this campus who seriously loathes hippies more than I do, I thought it might be neat to check it out, as my blood pressure had dropped during the Holidays anyway.

"Name: Dirty Hippies"

You got that right.

"Description: This is an all inclusive group."

Unless your not a dirty hippie.

"Old school, new age, and appropriately Berkeley."

Appropriately Berkeley immediately destroys credibility as legitimate entity.

"If you hate shoes"

Or love diseases and nails in your foot.

"Wear obscene amounts of jewelry"

Like those horrific materialistic rappers...

"Wear nothing at all"

Hippies are usually quite ugly. This is ill-advised.

"Think all time is leisure time"

And you wonder why no one has respect for their politics or useless behavior. What a societal drain. I sure as hell won't be redistributing any of my income to you, dirty hippies.

"Live "naturally", smoke cannabis, hair? who cares"

That explains some stuff...and some smells.

"Push "organically grown" on everyone"

To which people reply, "Oh, there's a dirty hippie, and it's making a scene. How cute".

"Get excited about Saturday's Farmer's Market"

How lame...and cheap.

"Surf the used clothing stores"

Gross.

"Just can't swing LA"

Cause LA would suck you lame'os up and spit you back out. Can't swing LA my ass - LA's not stupid enough to let you sit on your ass all day. Maybe you should try not getting on the 405 with a bicycle.

"Or contemplate world peace..."

Perhaps you'd like to invite Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to one of your happy hippy love circles. I'm sure he'll promise to cease developing nuclear weapons.

"any and all of that, you're probably a big dirty hippy and belong right here."

We'll see how long that lasts.

Gross.